If you’re like me, growing up, hearing “Go to your room!” wasn’t exactly a positive-feeling thing to hear from a parent. It was a phrase that, although not inherently good or bad, could sometime invoke feelings of being “bad” or shameful. Not only did it mean I was in trouble or on my parent’s nerves, but it also felt like I was being sent to away because I deserved to be alone, often creating a sense of abandonment or misunderstanding. Now, as a mom myself, I completely understand a parent’s need to de-stimulate and create space for that when children are not listening or there is a mismatch in energies. As kids though, we might’ve heard this phrase as a form of punishment, a way for our parents or caregivers to establish control and discipline. But what if, instead of being a punishment, we could take back that phrase and reframe it into something empowering? What if “Go to your room” could mean something entirely different—something that helps us create a sanctuary within our minds, a space of peace, calm, and solace to recalibrate our energy and emerge in a more regulated state?
In this post, we’re going to explore how you can use that childhood phrase to your advantage by creating your very own “room” within your mind—a space where you can retreat to when things feel chaotic or overwhelming. This “room” will not only help you find a sense of inner calm, but it can also ground you in the present moment, making it a sanctuary that you can return to whenever you need it most. Ready to turn “Go to your room” into something meaningful and healing? Let’s dive in.
“ “Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.””
The Power of Creating a Mental Space
The concept of a “mental room” might sound a little abstract, but I promise you, it’s a tool that can be incredibly effective when it comes to managing anxiety, overwhelm, or even just the general noise that comes with life. In our busy, fast-paced world, we can get caught up in the hustle of everything—work, family, personal responsibilities, self-care routines, social media, you name it. The noise from all of that can drown us out if we’re not careful.
So, what can we do when the overwhelm feels too much? How do we find stillness in a world that is always moving? By retreating to your own mental space, or your “room,” you can create a sanctuary that exists only in your mind. This sanctuary can act as your safe haven when things feel ungrounded or chaotic, and when you visit it, you’ll feel an immediate sense of relief and peace.
This space is not just for meditation (though it’s great for that), but also for any time you need to ground yourself. If you feel anxious, emotionally drained, or just generally unbalanced, your mental room can be the perfect escape. It’s a place where no one can disturb you, a space that exists solely for your healing and solace.
How to Build Your Mental Space
Let’s talk about how to actually create this mental space. It’s simpler than you think, and with just a few tools, you can build it into something deeply soothing.
1. Begin with Your Breath
Before you even step foot into your mental space, it’s essential to start by grounding yourself with your breath. Our breath is one of the most powerful tools we have for calming the mind and body. So, take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for a moment, and then exhale slowly. Do this several times, allowing your body to relax with each breath.
As you breathe (with eyes closed), start to visualize a door in front of you. This door represents the entrance to your inner sanctuary. Feel the sensation of it—whether it’s made of wood, glass, or stone, allow your mind to paint a vivid picture. Notice the details. Does it creak when you open it? Does the handle feel warm to the touch? Picture yourself stepping through that door, leaving behind the chaos and stepping into a space that’s just for you.
2. Engage All of Your Senses
One of the most powerful ways to build a mental sanctuary is by engaging all five of your senses. When you’re creating your room, think about what would make it feel real and immersive. Start with sight:
Sight: What does your room look like? Is it surrounded by nature, with sunlight streaming through the windows? Or is it more cozy, like a peaceful den with soft lighting? Maybe it’s a garden in your mind or a peaceful lakeside cabin. Paint a vivid picture in your mind and make it as detailed as possible. The more detailed it is, the more real it will feel.
Sound: What sounds fill the space? Is there the sound of a crackling fire, the gentle hum of nature, or soft music playing in the background? Perhaps it’s just the stillness, the quiet hum of your heartbeat. Focus on the calming sounds you can hear in your mental space.
Touch: What textures are around you? Maybe there’s a soft blanket you can wrap yourself in, or the cool stone of a fireplace surround. Feel the softness of your mental environment—the pillows, the floor beneath you, the calming touch of the air on your skin.
Smell: Now, bring in a scent. Perhaps it's the smell of fresh flowers, sandalwood incense, or the salty breeze from the ocean. The scent can be anything that makes you feel at peace, like lavender or fresh-cut grass. Notice how this smell helps you relax, grounding you even further into the present moment.
Taste: This one can be a little tricky to picture, but it’s just as important. Maybe there’s a warm cup of tea or coffee on the table in front of you, or you can taste the sweetness of a fruit in your mouth. It doesn’t need to be something literal, just something that makes you feel nourished and taken care of.
3. Use Your Room for Healing
Once you’ve built your mental space, you can begin to use it for healing and relaxation. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed, close your eyes and retreat to your room. Use the details you’ve created—the sights, sounds, smells, and sensations—to ground yourself in the moment. Take a few deep breaths, and allow your mind to settle.
You can also use your room for meditation. When you meditate, you are essentially bringing your attention to the present moment and calming the mental chatter. Your mental room can act as the perfect place to do this. If you’re someone who struggles to find peace during meditation, this space can serve as an anchor, a place you can always return to when your mind begins to wander.
Over time, this practice of visiting your mental room will become easier and more automatic. Just like you can physically return to your bedroom when you need rest, you can mentally return to your sanctuary whenever you need to recharge.
““The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.””
““The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.””
The Holistic Benefits of a Mental Space
Creating a mental room doesn’t just help when you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed—it has several holistic benefits for your overall well-being.
Reduced Anxiety: By practicing mindfulness in your mental room, you give yourself a safe space to process emotions and calm your nervous system. You can also tap into your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps activate the “rest and digest” mode in your body, reducing feelings of anxiety.
Increased Grounding: Whenever we feel scattered or ungrounded, our mental room can act as a reminder to slow down, reconnect with ourselves, and recalibrate. By spending time in your sanctuary, you’re literally rewiring your brain to associate peace and relaxation with stillness, helping you build a more grounded presence in your everyday life.
Heightened Self-Awareness: The more time you spend in your mental room, the more connected you’ll become to your own inner wisdom. It’s a space for introspection, a space to process emotions and gain clarity on any challenges you may be facing.
Improved Focus: When you use your mental room as a tool to center yourself, you’ll find that you have better focus and concentration. This can be incredibly beneficial when you’re tackling big tasks or facing overwhelming situations.
Enhanced Emotional Resilience: By visiting your mental sanctuary regularly, you’ll develop a sense of emotional resilience. You’ll likely become better equipped to handle stressful situations because you always have a mental space to retreat to.
Wrapping Up
“Go to your room” may have once been a phrase associated with punishment or isolation, but it’s time to reclaim it. You have the power to create a safe and peaceful sanctuary within your own mind—a space you can return to whenever life feels too overwhelming. By engaging all your senses and creating a vivid mental space, you can unlock a deep sense of peace, calm, and grounding. So, next time you’re feeling ungrounded, overstimulated (my personal favorite) or generally anxious, remember: you always have a room to go to. And in that space, you can find solace, clarity, and healing.