“Gateway” - Pueblo, Colorado - May 2021
The Hidden Cost of Awakening:
Why Dissonance Is the Price of Awareness
Spiritual awakening is often painted as pure bliss.. golden light, peace, infinite clarity. What rarely gets spoken about is the weight that comes with it. It isn’t because the universe is cruel, but because awareness sharpens our senses and amplifies our responsibility.
When you wake up, you can’t unknow what you’ve seen. You can’t take the magic glasses off after putting them on. And that means every choice..from the thoughts you think, to the patterns you indulge, to the relationships you hold onto.. starts to vibrate differently.
Awareness Isn’t Punishment
Many people carry a quiet fear: If I know better and don’t always live aligned, am I doomed to suffer? I know I’ve had this thought personally. But..that’s not exactly how it works. There’s no cosmic punishment waiting around the corner. But there is a form of friction, and that friction is what I call the dissonance tax.
It’s not that you’re being punished. It’s that your system has evolved into higher resolution. Imagine switching from a fuzzy old TV to ultra-HD. The dust, the smudges, the imperfections were always there… you just have the vision to see them more clearly now.
The Real Trade-Off
Ignorance feels easy because it numbs sensitivity. The consequences are still there, but duller, slower to register.
Awareness feels sharp because it magnifies sensation. The body, mind, and soul now notice every little misalignment.
That sharpness is the cost, but it’s also the gift….because you now have the power to respond, recalibrate, and embody a new way of being.
Integration vs. Suffering
Awareness without integration leads to inner chaos. You see the patterns, but don’t embody the change. You feel the pull of higher alignment, but live in old choices. The result? Anxiety, shame, exhaustion, self-doubt.
Awareness with integration, however, births peace. It’s not about perfection. It’s about taking small, steady steps to live closer to what you already know.
Awareness + denial = suffering.
Awareness + embodiment = freedom.
Why the Dark Night Comes After the Light
Many of us experience a “dark night of the soul” after periods of great spiritual expansion. It feels like regression. Old habits, old partners, old ways of numbing come rushing back. But really, it’s like compost.
The light revealed hidden rooms in your psyche. Those rooms need cleaning, and the dark night is how that clearing unfolds. Just know that if you’ve been in a dark night (as I have), you didn’t lose your growth. You’re weaving it deeper..and deeper.
Releasing the Belief in Punishment
One of the heaviest limiting beliefs is: “If I’m aware but not fully embodied, I’ll be punished.”
The truth is gentler: the only punishment is the dissonance itself.
The more you resist integration, the louder the friction feels. The more you embody what you know, the more ease and flow return.
The Invitation of Awareness
Awareness doesn’t demand that you walk a razor’s edge forever. It invites you to learn how to dance barefoot on the path. Sensitive, yes. Careful, sometimes. But alive.. fully alive.
Takeaway: The cost of awakening isn’t eternal suffering. It’s the responsibility of resonance. Once you’ve tuned into higher frequencies, misaligned notes simply sound louder. That’s not a curse. It’s a compass.
If you’re walking this path and feeling the weight of dissonance in your body, relationships, or choices, know this: you don’t have to carry it alone. This is the work I hold space for…through moon circles, conscious coaching, energy healing and community rooted in real embodiment. If you’re ready to move from friction into flow, I’d love to walk with you. You can explore my offerings, from one-on-one support to group spaces here.